He's gone over it in his head countless times -- what he would have done if he had found the the lines of heroin and the rolled up dollar bill in her room, before it was too late
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It does something profound to you, to lose a child to a drug overdose.
When Stephen McDonald found his 15-year-old daughter unresponsive in her room the day after Christmas, as he gave her CPR and was shooed from her room by the responding EMTs, he could not conceive of what had happened.
And at the same time, he knew she was gone.
He said his waking hours -- of which there are many, because sleep is elusive even months later -- are consumed with thoughts of his daughter Madison: how she had been secretly using drugs, how her dealer allegedly found her at a mall, and what he as a father could have done to prevent it.
He's gone over it in his head countless times -- what he would have done if he had found the the lines of heroin and the rolled up dollar bill in her room, before it was too late.
"If I would've had any idea, we would have set up rehab in another state, maybe Wyoming or Utah, across the other side of the country," he said.
He has all the details worked out: They'd tell Maddie they were going on vacation, fly with her to the location and then check her into rehab whether she liked it or not. "We'd fly out to see her once a month," he said. Send her clothes or anything else she needed while she was getting clean.
She'd get a fresh, clean start, the Madison in this fantasy.
It's been nearly four months since Madison McDonald was taken off life support Dec. 28. Stephen McDonald said he wants to tell her story now because the man accused of selling her the drugs that killed her, Austin F. Cooper, 21, has been charged with causing her death.
McDonald said Cooper preyed on Madison and, a few years previous, a friend of hers too, after he met them at a mall.
He wants other parents to know what happened so that maybe they think twice before handing their teenager $20 and dropping them off at the mall.
"What they're doing is going to malls and selling to kids, and that's what happened to my daughter," he said. "They know these kids have money."
Madison McDonald, 15, died from a heroin overdose Dec. 28, 2017.
'I want to get a girl addicted to heroin'
McDonald seemed numb to a lot of the tragic moments he recounted in an interview at his home Monday. But when he talked about Cooper, he didn't mince words. He called him a monster and a menace.
"When I was in court to see him, it gave me chills down my back," he said. "And this guy didn't show no remorse, like he couldn't give a damn."
Cooper, of Willingboro, has pleaded not guilty to charges including first-degree strict liability for drug-induced death. When he was in Superior Court in Mount Holly last week, his lawyer told the judge that it's possible Madison got the drugs from another person.
But at the hearing, where a judge ordered Cooper held pending trial, Assistant Prosecutor Jeremy Lackey said that Cooper's messages with Madison and others prove he was supplying her with the drug and kept selling to others even after she died.
Austin Cooper
Lackey said Cooper's internet search history shows that last October, he googled "I want to get a girl addicted to heroin," and "I want to get people addicted to heroin," as well as how to cut fentanyl with heroin.
According to the criminal complaint, a friend told police that Madison bought $100 in heroin from Cooper about a week before her death, and detectives found numerous messages between Madison and Cooper confirming he sold her 10 bags of heroin Dec. 11.
Cooper has no criminal record, but police filed drug charges against him the day Madison died, following the execution of a search warrant at his home.
Lackey said in court that after learning about Madison's death, Cooper messaged friends that he had "caught a body" and implied he needed to get more drugs, so he could sell them and hire a lawyer.
His lawyer, Jared Dorfman, said Cooper recently got a job at Burlington Coat Factory and lived with his father in Willingboro.
'My whole life is turned upside down'
McDonald said that when Madison was born, her older sister, Devon McDonald, now 19, loved to play "mom" to her.
When she was 3 or 4, she loved to ride the train in Philadelphia with her sister and grandmother, going to a museum or to Dave & Buster's.
She loved music her whole life. "She had an ear for it," he said. She started with the violin in third grade, then picked up the guitar and the saxophone, which she played in the school band.
He described her as an energetic teen with a great sense of humor and a passion for animals. It's a jolt every time one of her mailers from a rescue or some other animal group comes in the mail, he said.
She was vegan for the last three years of her life, and liked to teach others about why it was important to only put "good" things in their bodies. McDonald said that's why he couldn't believe that she would put heroin -- which he repeatedly refers to as poison -- in her body.
Stephen McDonald, 51, of Evesham holds a photograph of his daughter, Madison, 15, who died from a heroin overdose Dec. 28, 2017. (Rebecca Everett | For NJ.com)
Her parents split in 2010. After that, McDonald said, Madison would sometimes live with her mother and sometimes with him and his wife. Madison's mother declined to comment for this story.
McDonald said Madison lived with her mother in Marlton for about five months last fall before moving back into his house Dec. 23.
"She actually seemed normal, Christmas Day," he said, recalling her hugging her grandmother and great-aunt goodbye after the festivities. "The next day, my whole life is turned upside down."
Late on the morning of the 26th, she made herself some rice and beans and then said she was going up to her room. He texted her to see if she wanted to go out to a diner, but she didn't reply. He and his wife went out and ran errands, and only realized about an hour after they got home that they hadn't seen Madison in hours.
McDonald said that when they opened her bedroom door, she was facedown on the bed. He rolled her over and her eyes rolled back in her head, at which point he told his wife to call 911. He moved her to the floor and started CPR, but he said she had no pulse.
At some point, he noticed the lines of white powder on a CD jacket, near Madison's bed.
Emergency responders took her to Virtua Marlton, where she was flown to the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. They took her off life-support two days later.
A strong message
The door to Madison's room stays closed. McDonald said it is hard for him to go in.
It is much cleaner than you'd expect for a teenager's room. McDonald said he gave some of her clothes to her close friends and her mother, and what remains was packed in boxes on a couch. McDonald points out her favorite shoes, a pair of checkerboard Vans slip ons. Her record player and a buddha head figurine still sit on her bedside table.
On the dresser, among photographs of Madison, sit some of her ashes, in a blue stone box engraved with her name. Standing in front of it, McDonald said he thinks a lot about how Cooper will "see daylight again."
"I'll never see my daughter again," he said.
He said he thinks about how the prosecutors and judges who will be involved with Cooper's case probably have kids. He hopes they think of their own when they prosecute him.
"They need to send a strong message," he said.
The Burlington County Prosecutor's Office says it already is sending a strong message by charging six people with strict liability for drug-induced death in the last 18 months.
In a column on NJ.com last month, Prosecutor Scott Coffina said the statute was a 'powerful tool' to fight the opioid epidemic that's taking too many lives.
Burlington County had 141 overdose deaths in 2017. One of the youngest was Madison. An "angel" who McDonald said could always put a smile on your face.
"She'd lift you up," he said.
Rebecca Everett may be reached at reverett@njadvancemedia.com. Follow her on Twitter @rebeccajeverett. Find NJ.com on Facebook.
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